How one man found peace after leaving the porn industry

The following article details “claimed” real-life events from a subject I interviewed. To ensure the protection of the interviewee’s identity and location, the names of certain people have been changed. Viewer discretion is advised.

Surprisingly enough, the word “porn” took on a whole different meaning centuries ago. Grotesque and erotic materials were used as a means to an end during politics. In today’s standards, the end result is entirely different. Gay pornography was founded approximately in the mid-40s through simple flip-throughs of catalogs and magazines. As we’ve seen time and again, actors and actresses in Hollywood have revealed the work that goes on behind the scenes, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. As the adult film industry has evolved much like anything else in the entertainment industry, so have the “ins and outs” of getting the highest-paid models. Drugs, alcohol, and dirty scheming have and continue to thrive behind the camera. One man hesitantly shared his experience, detailing what he went through and his outlook on life now. This is his story.

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“I get out of jail and have no phone, and no phone numbers memorized. I took it as FML. I'm going to hitchhike home. I deserve to suffer for everything I'd done.”

Born an only child, John Doe referred to himself as pretty “straight edge.” He called himself an average student who grew up in Idaho. He left high school with a record after getting caught using pot. He wasn’t going to college, but thought the military might interest him.

“I wanted to be on the front lines. I wanted to get shot at…just kidding,” said Doe.

He was looking for the “next best thing,” so when his friends began traveling around Montana and North Dakota, he was all in. He described the winters in North Dakota as a “total tundra.” He had worked small jobs like in Applebee’s and a local hardware store, but nothing stuck.

Modeling in thailand

His parents divorced when he was 16. His dad was a contractor, and Doe described him as a “real handyman” who could fix and do just about anything that needed to be done. His father made sleigh beds and eventually sought-after teak wood, a luxurious wood only found in Southeast Asia. He visited Thailand along with a translator, hoping to strike a deal to get teak wood for his sleigh beds; however, the deal fell through.

Doe’s father fell in love with the country and now resides in Thailand with his wife, the translator who had initially helped him. His father and him exchanged emails, which led to his father paying his way to fly to Thailand. He helped his father build his home, which rests on a mango farm filled with approximately 750 trees.

He attended Language Express School in Bangkok, where he learned Thai but expressed how writing in the language was like writing in hieroglyphics. “It was the quietest time of my life,” said Doe.

He explained how beautiful the people were in Thailand; where many cheap commercials were filmed. “It's the melting pot of the world.” He landed a few roles in commercials like Maybelline and did some work for modeling agencies.

“I thought I was decent. Some of the most handsome people I've seen were here. I had long hair and a sweet innocent look and charisma,” said Doe.

Entering the industry

Doe stayed in Thailand for under two years and eventually flew back to the states. He discovered he had a passion and talent for singing, which he now posts frequently on his Youtube Channel. He regrets not pursuing his singing career then and even more not being able to fly back to Thailand.

After he had returned to the states, he was partying all the time. He was back in North Dakota and was looking for opportunities with his modeling career, but found nothing close by. “You've got to be in New York and California or be the best-looking person ever,” said Doe. He searched Craigslist frequently and eventually found an opportunity for beach modeling.

The man in charge of the gig would eventually become one of Doe’s closest friends and his personal agent in the adult film industry. The gig would get him $500 but he was offered $250 more if he agreed to do the photoshoot nude. Although hesitant at first, Doe eventually agreed and was paid $750.

“I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't something to be ashamed of.” The photoshoot was done in San Diego, and although Doe’s future as a model was stirring, he was looped into something more sinister. He later found out the photoshoot was for a pornography agency.

His agent told him he could “destroy the porn industry,” adhering to his good looks and innocence.

He was offered to do a straight porn scene for Next Door Studios. The crew loved him and paid Doe approximately $1,200 - $1,500. “A lot of these guys that watch straight porn know the system,” he said. “I know the system because I did it for years.”

Doe’s success led to another gig where he would perform a solo video of himself where he was paid $2,000. His agent worked out a deal with him to take 10% of the model’s profit and would take care of Doe’s business deals. His agent created his stage name and informed him to maintain his physique, not change his hair, get tattoos, or do anything drastic unless he consulted him first.

His agent got him to work for Randy Blue, where he developed a reputation in the gay porn industry. Doe made it clear he was not gay, and everything done for the industry was strictly for the money. He never fantasized about men before or after his porn career. “I was crushing it,” said Doe. “My agent protected me.”

Hitting rock bottom

After Randy Blue, he worked at Helix Studios for a year, but he ended up circling back to Next Door Studios due to contract issues. Doe began to lack in his physique and described himself as pale looking and not healthy in his appearance. He began to drink heavily.

Doe was with a woman he was dating at the time, along with her son at Whole Food Market. “I loved him. He's going to be the ultimate California surfer guy. He just had that swagger about him,” he said.

He was drinking at the bar in the store to the point where he described himself as “blackout drunk.” “I was so drunk that I went to the salad bar and started eating it.” Doe made a public scene at one of the cash registers and threw his money at the cashier. As he was walking to his car, he was almost hit by a driver, and he punched the vehicle. The police were called, and he resisted arrest.

Doe sat in Orange County jail, where he grew paranoid that other inmates would discover who he was. “I wasn’t afraid of getting raped. I was worried about being ridiculed for my past,” he said.

A month and a half later, he was let go and found himself with no phone, no money, and no numbers memorized. He hitchhiked and came upon a homeless community where he stopped and mingled until he carried on till he reached his condo, where he was living at the time with his agent and another adult film actor.

Doe was informed his agent was in hospice. He visited him where he went to say his goodbyes. His agent died shortly after that. When he returned to the condo, he found his roommate partying with friends while all his belongings were stolen. “I felt lower than dirt,” said Doe.

His agent managed his Twitter account, where he developed a large following. Doe never was able to get into the account, and it still haunts him today as a constant reminder.

“I never went back to porn,” he said.

He left the condo and moved in with a friend. Doe’s friend was in an abusive relationship and Doe knew. “He wanted to fight me anytime I saw the abuse happening.”

The two got into a physical altercation to where he was punched hard enough that he peed himself. He left his belongings and went to work, where he broke down. “I started questioning everything I ever did in my life.”

His boss realized what was happening and drove him back to his friend’s, where he packed his things to go live with his mom and never looked back.

“I check on her through Facebook still. My boss drove me to the airport and mailed me my check.”

A bright future

Doe now lives in South Central America, where he is developing his own lawn care business. He now regularly attends church as a Christian and says he had repented for his past sins.

He said the money he made in the industry was “dirty,” and he felt like an escort – although he never participated in escorting. “Money was my god,” said Doe. “I worshipped my money, and I was greedy.”

Doe hopes to move back to Thailand to remain close to his father. He’s been in contact with someone tied to the film industry in New York, where he hopes to make a name for himself – a name free from his dark past.

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Sources: The Fulcrum, Pink News

Featured Image: VeryWell Mind